Melani Blazer

Okay…. I did a few upgrades without breaking the blog. I’m relieved.

Seems I managed to survive the funk that was November and December (and part of January) and can see some light at the end of the tunnel. Things I put in place back in November are starting to happen and I’ve got more than a pinkie grip on “life”—and here I thought this romance writer gig was supposed to be satin negligee’s or at least a silky robe, furry slippers and chocolate bonbons. Dangit!

Handwriting still seems to be the thing. I’m way ahead of myself on handwritten vs. typed in, but I’m happy with progress no matter how I come by it. Overall, the time spent in my little writer’s funk was beneficial. I did a lot of philosophizing. Why I write, what I want to write, why I read and what makes me pick up a book. Where do I want to go with this and how much effort am I willing to put in it–I don’t have all the definitive answers, but definitely a better grip on how to get them–and how to do this for me, not to please friends or family or all those other reasons.

I started my first book back in September of 2000, Labor Day, actually. I remember having gone to the store and looked at the offerings and feel very frustrated I didn’t find what I wanted. I’m sure it was a little store, a drug store maybe, but one with a decent fiction offering. Regardless, I’d remembered a thought I’d had–When I finally got a computer, I was going to write a book. Well, I had a computer–had only had it for a few months–but nonetheless, I’d made up my mind in that instant to start a book.

It wasn’t the first book for me. When I was about 12, maybe 13, my neighbor and I had a notebook we’d used to write a fan fic style spin off of Trixie Belden stories, starting US, and incorporating many of our families and lifestyles. I don’t know how many handwritten pages we’d done–probably close to a whole 80 page spiral notebook, but I think it gave me the courage and confidence I could do it.

Boy, was I green. All I knew was that I was writing a story that I’d want to read. I wrote the story as if reading it—no preplanning, plotting or researching. I did it as I went, panster style all the way. Often, I wasn’t sure what was going to happen to the characters until I got to the fork in the road and then impulsively chose which way to go. I loved that story, with it’s contrived plot and predictable storyline. I did research it and fell in love with the setting and absolutely fell in love with all the characters. My mother in law and co-worker read along with me and encouraged me. I look back and still LOVE the story, but I bet that writing is well….amatuerish and needs more than just a good edit. Yet because of the feedback, the sense of accomplishment, I kept going.

No details are needed to tell you that it was only step one of this writing…career, if you will, but some days, like today, I don’t feel so far from that point. Because I don’t have to (yet)…I’m turning back and focusing on writing what I want to read right now. What I love. What makes me laugh, cry, feel and write it for the reasons I started–because I wanted this book, not because I was targetting a certain market or line or publisher. Hell yeah, I hope it’s good enough to catch an agent’s or editor’s eye. I hope I’m not the only one to love it. But if I am, so what?

My goals this year (posting this more for me than anyone else, but feel free to comment or post your own).
Finish MMR and make progress on the WF series, Vamp and write the next Nascar-racing book. That’s the only book I’m going to allow myself to “start” fresh. I’ve got too many started that need tending to now. If I accomplish that, I’ll submit to editors &/or agents and see where that takes me.

One of the best bits of all my thinking and pondering and questioning myself is that I realized two very important things. First–I write because I have to. And I will continue to do so, even if I never publish a piece of work again. Two–my friends are wonderfully supportive and encouraging. They really helped me figure myself all out while never making me feel dumb, inept or anything negative. So big thanks to my BB’s and friends!

Since I’m rambling and should be typing in my WIP, I’ll log out. I did update the sidebar with current progress. YAY!
Happy writing, reading or blog-hopping to all of you!