I do. Here’s why….

Had a chance to watch Twilight the other night. I had…expectations. I hadn’t put them into words, but term cliche would probably be one of them. No–I hadn’t read the book(s). My daughter has. She’s talked about them to a small enough extent that my expectations weren’t swayed. Another vampire plot. How original could it be? I expected to find the heroine TSTL (Too stupid to live) and the hero overbearing, bossy, possessive and…unheroic. Especially since these were teenagers.

I’ll try to do this w/o spoilers, but gee, I’ve got to be the last person on the planet who’s neither read nor seen the movie, right?

It’ll be tricky to say this, but I’m glad Bella and Edward weren’t cast with actors who are….too pretty. I didn’t feel they were the most attractive characters in the film. I didn’t find Edward “drop dead gorgeous”, despite his looks being described that way at least once. Sorry… not for me. But–his looks (especially his eyes) were a perfect FIT for the moody, aged vampire caught in a teenagers body angst.

The characterization surprised and…yanked me in. The push/pull was good. Very good. While watching, I was making mental notes about how it was so clear we could see the attraction between them, and how they fought one another and themselves to stay apart. Their tension was good enough that I thought about it for days. To me that’s the spine tingling, breath catching rush of romance. This made the movie for me. The struggle with self control, the way neither bended or compromised who they were, really, yet still changed by what they learned by being together.

That said, I thought Bella accepted Edward’s near stalking like behavior a little too well. But kept reminding myself the book is huge–and not all that can make it on the screen. I can only hope the book makes up for that bit that makes me cringe. Please. I have a 17 yr old daughter. [side note: I asked--She thinks Edward is uber-creepy. She did say "creepy" several times during the watching of this show.]

Plot-wise I won’t say too much, because while it was better than I expected and didn’t caught in the deep ruts of BTST, I don’t think it would have carried the movie if the characters weren’t so richly developed. There were bits here and there that would have made me slap a big red ? in the margins if I were reading a friend’s (or my own) draft. I felt kind of proud of myself for still enjoying the movie despite those. Now I wonder if I read the series if it’ll be a case of me pulling out certain passages and disecting them or if I could actually enjoy it.

Ah well. If anyone has any idea how to turn off the critical thinking switch so I can go back to simply enjoying a book or movie, I’ll all for it.

I know exactly what went wrong with my intended rewrite/edit of an old book I wanted to resurrect. I never could get to a “place” where I had no distractions and could find the zone I needed to really hash the story line, character arcs and plot out in my head clearly. I was surface writing. Surface writing is shallow, often pointless and babbling and has little conflict and writing’s equivilant of stick people. NOT what I want to produce. Not what I can stand to go back and reread, if only to “catch up” and get back into the groove.
The last week or so I’ve been spending computer time typing in 80+ handwritten pages of a nascar themed story I finished last fall and sat aside. That seems to be going okay and I ‘like’ the story. Hell yeah, it needs work, but at least it’s worth editing and no burning.

When I can’t transcribe, I’m allowing myself to write random scenes from a number of other books/ideas in a notebooks. They’re creative outlets, hopefully jumping boards to other ideas or character development. I suppose it’s not the best way to go and it certainly isn’t churning out viable stories, but I’ve at least come to grips with the truth I think I’ve known all along. I can’t not write. My creativity hasn’t died. Reality has simply intruded and frankly…I let it. Now it’s time to figure out how to fight back.

My daughter, now a junior in high school, has officially signed to be a soldier. She’s joined the Army Reserve. She’ll complete boot camp/basic training this summer and then come back to finish her senior year, then do her AIT training (she chose chemical operations) and then onto reserve life. She’ll go to school, we’re looking hard at Purdue University because it’s not far from here and they have an ROTC program, which is what she wants. The military part wasn’t a surprise at all, because for the last 4-5 years she’s been talking about becoming a military pilot. This direction won’t take her there, at least directly, but she’s way excited about this path she’s chosen. It’s a huge step, but she’s been doing her research and understands her risks and benefits. I’m proud of her.

Thank you to whoever it was that sent me two really neat magnets from Cafe Press. They came to me at work, under my “real” name, so I assume it’s someone who knows me rather well. They arrived anonymously today. One has an outline of a soldier and it says “Real dads raise soldiers” and the other has a cat wearing combat boots and a camo hat or scarf. The cat’s standing up with fists at its sides and it reads, “Don’t mess with me, my daughter is in the Army.” I love them, and so does my hubby. (Who couldn’t be prouder for his daughter.)

I’ve started a series dealing with military guys, so I do anticipate picking my daughter’s brains in the next couple of years for terminology or simple “how things are done” from her point of view–hopefully I can use her feedback.

Shannon did a post a few days ago about following your heart rather than doing what others are doing or what you (or others) think you should do. I wholeheartedly agree with that, and have been following that piece of advise for the last year or so. It means I don’t have any new releases on the horizon, but I’m working on some things I feel very good about and I’m constantly rediscovering why I love to write. So many of us used to say that we’d write even if we didn’t get paid or didn’t see our book in print. I still feel that way. I also believe we’re all still learning as writers and I’m finding new ways to apply what I’ve learned and look at how to piece together a book.

I’ve had two friends recently tell me of their ambition to write a book. I always feel weird offering them advice, even though they’ve asked for it. Today I listened to the power and desire in my friend’s voice and told her that her drive was the key. I really loved to see the sparkle in her eye and the way she was stumbling over her words to get her ideas and thoughts out. Wow. That’s so inspiring. I told her to stay in love with her idea. Nourish it. Make notes. Believe and never let someone tell her that she can’t do it. Write every day. Write garbage, because it might inspire something better–and one can edit garbage, but you can’t edit a blank page. Read, read, read. I finally told her to develop very thick skin. No one every likes to hear that part. Huh. Thankfully I got that advice, and more.

And with that, I’m off to type in some more handwritten WIP and visit with the hubby.

Now, I’ve had resolutions in the past. Some, writing related, have been easier to maintain, at least for longer periods of time. So I’m not going to bother with the vow to work out or eat healthy cuz you all know damn good and well the first time someone says “Let’s have McDonalds,” dude, I’m there.

Because I have been lax here at the blog, especially in keeping my captive audience of two up to date on what’s going on with me, I am going to make an effort to come in and say HI once in a while.

Here’s what I managed to do with 2008. Um….

I learned a lot about kitchen remodeling and FINALLY, Fin-A-Leeeeeeee am on the final step, which is countertop installation. We’re waiting on the contractor to give us the scary dollar amount, then I throw up, then I write a check and then he comes and cusses, grunts, hammers, drills and all those wonderful things contractors do while working, and then I cry when I finally see the entire project completed. (Well, there will be little things like some ceiling trim, etc, but OMG it’ll be working kitchen with a SINK and a COUNTER!!!)

I reviewed, slightly edited and submitted a novellette (slightly smaller than a novella-length?) to Samhain and am waiting on my editor, dear Angela James to ask me what the hell I was drinking when I wrote it.

I wrote, by hand, a Nascar themed book. It’s still mostly on paper in really bad handwriting. A goal for early 2009 is to type it in, editing as I go, then let it brew for a little while, reread and edit it again and then torture Angie @ Samhain with it, too. It’s got some of the characters from Trophy Girl in it, but the sexual level is not even close. Apparently these characters didn’t take notes from Molly and Zander about how to get it on in a car hauler… But I guess not every book needs copious amounts of sex, right?

I added a few thousands words to several other books I have in progress. Mainly a vampire story I can’t manage to get into for long periods of time because it really messes with my moods. Also toyed with a humorous witch story, one I really love and want to finish, but the plot hasn’t all fallen together in my head so I can’t.

Just last week I did something I’ve talked about doing for a long, long time and that’s revise a book I submitted to Silhouette Intimate Moments (that ages it, eh?). It’s not THE story of my heart, but a damn close second, I think. It was ultimately given a personal rejection by the then-executive editor of the line. I think 7-8 years of learning and growing as an author will help me figure out what I didn’t know then and “fix” the things that made this come back to me rather than sell. Who knows what I’ll do with it then. Not sure the original length or heat level will remain. I’m excited about it, and despite one of my friends looking at me like I’d grown 8 heads, am up for the task of rewriting.

Oh, yeah. the other thing I wanted to torture you all with, if you’re even still with me after my babbling-ness. CLICK HERE and you can thank me later.

I’m a bit envious of all those at RWA, except for those little twitter excerpts I’ve seen about the frigid temps (no, I haven’t caved to temptation, I’ve simply read Angie’s sidebar). While you’re visiting Angie, the Executive Editor at Samhain Publishing, please take a look at what Mandy, Jaci, Shan and I have found while perusing the boxes and files in and around her blog. OMY!!! There’s more to come, too. You wouldn’t believe what else we’ve found, but we’re debating when to unveil it. We’ve got to see how the world reacts to the news about her evilness to see if they can HANDLE THE TRUTH!

Anyway, in between working, being envious of conference goers, writing and digging through Angie’s basement, I’m visiting the workshops some really grand and talented people are putting on this week.

Here’s some people I know and have visited already, but there are many more, and I’m intending on bookmarking them in the least so I can hone my craft, learn and grow as an author. That’s what it’s all about, right?
Jaci Burton- Work shop entitled the Anatomy of Sex. Whoo hoo! Hot topic, indeed, but OMG is she spot on!
Shannon Stacey- Work shop entitled “When only the Right Word Will Do” about punching up those first drafts. Great topic!!!
Emma Wayne Porter She’s hitting the self editing issues, which is SOOOO important, and one of the least FUN parts of writing.
Mandy Roth–is doing a neat bit on covers. She’s such a talent with graphics. I love her stuff!

All three of these hit on really important aspects of the writing craft–and I can’t wait to dig in and see the topics of all the other workshops. I’m sure there’s stuff for all writers, from beginners to the experts. After all, this is a “job” in which you can never stop learning and bettering yourself!

Now, back to Angie’s box of photos, bwahahahahahahahahha

Saturday? Killed down at the local garage, bs’ing and hanging out with the guys (I tagged along with the hubby, but I consider them my friends too). The Chevelle’s up on the lift, getting a new gas tanks and some suspension work, so there was some fiddling with that. The garage owner has a similar Chevelle (year older, much more radical) and he did a number on his U-joint, so there was much discussion over how and why and then often four or five of them stood around attempting to fix it. Yeah, it got done.

Did anything get done in the house? er, no. Nascar race came on soon after we got home. I wished I could have gone to Chicagoland. It’s a fun track. I think Kyle Busch wants to break every record in one year. Gibbs and Toyota have got to be proud of him. (And Shan’s short-kid, too)

Sunday we got up and decided to head a coupla counties over to see the over-the-water Air show. Cuz you know, we didn’t get enough of the FA18 on July 4th. It was awesome, the weather was perfect, a great breeze, crisp visibility (I never realized how clearly you can make out the Chicagoland skyline from there) and of course, some excellent performers. Nothing got done in the kitchen again, but hey, the show was free save gas and optional $6 parking, so….not a bad way to spend a Sunday.

Now the hubby’s gotten himself selected for jury duty, despite being taken off work for ripped ligaments in his shoulder. Which means, of course, he can’t work on the kitchen by himself anyway, at least anything that’d require use of his right arm. (He’s been measuring and computing, marking studs, mocking out where electrical boxes and switches will go, just basics, but hey, it’s all gotta get done, right?)

Sigh, and I’m trying to write. I’m really loving the story I’m doing. I forgot how much I love writing a NASCAR themed story. Some (a lot) of the characters from Trophy Girl are in this one, but I’m not finding the heat level as the last one. Hope that doesn’t disappoint too many people. Sometimes forcing sex on the characters would ruin the story. This is one in which I believe that. Their issues and challenges are way beyond lust, though don’t get me wrong, there’s plenty of wishful thinking…

Off to do something useful, like type in the 30+ handwritten pages I’ve done. At least my wrist has gotten a workout!

For the third time, I wrote a scene into a corner from which there was no escape. At 2/3rd into a story, you cannot make resolution even more impossible (okay, you can, but in this case, it’d take another 40K to resolve it, unless you want something completely contrite and will make even ME wanna throw it against the wall.). Anyhoot, I wrote, I deleted, I backed up, wrote, deleted and last night I finally didn’t even reread what I’d written, just scrapped it all (still on paper) and started from a different point.

Guess what? My characters didn’t have a blow out and say irreparable things to one another but I still managed to have a both say things they didn’t want to. Oh, they meant them, but it was neither the time or place.

I picked up a newspaper on Sunday at my mother in laws and on the back, it had one of those “Dear ___” columns. The letter was admonishing this advice columnist for encouraging confrontations. The columnist replied very aptly, stating that confrontation was often the word other people suggested, and she would use conversation, discussion and confrontation interchangeably. Arguably, there’s a difference, but I realized I was being too harsh in my writing. I didn’t need them to be cruel to one another to say what they felt, they could do it more subtly, and in the end, realized it made a big difference and hopefully hit a more emotional tone.

Now…to get them OVER this–compounded by all the other things preventing that lovely little HEA, and things will be good. But I thought 14 handwritten pages for one night was really rocking. YAY!

Can I shoot off one bottle rocket to celebrate?

I’ve been writing, but not gonna say more less I jinx myself and figuratively duct tape the muse’s mouth closed. BAD BAD thing, that.

I see Jaci’s got a smokin’ new cover to go along with those smokin’ hot books of hers. Check it out.

Emma Wayne Porter is a great friend of mine and I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention her new gig, editing for Lyrical Press. Do her a favor and check out some of her handiwork..okay, editing handiwork. She’s a pretty awesome writer as well…

Oh, and there’s been some really neat changes, including the addition of three fantabulous writers to the AFTER MIDNIGHT FANTASIES author group… stop by the website–and blog–and check out our contests via writerspace as well.

I’m off to write. BYE!

Then, if that wasn’t enough, I pulled out a real short story I’d written, read it, went…. wtf, why didn’t I do anything with this? and proceeded to synopsize it. Not sure where THAT will go, but hey, it’s progress.

And now, the hard part…what to pick up next?

Thing is, I did about… three synopsis for this story as I went, but due to characters bullheadedness growth, and changes in the plot to “Fix” things, well, none of them really apply.

If you need me, I’ll be hiding under a rock, trying to condense it. Oh, and wanted to say that despite it ONLY being a 28K story, that’s about twice what my intended word count is. Word whore. Mandy, let’s wear our hat (shit, typed hate….that’s no good) anyhoot, let’s wear our HAT with pride. But now what the hell do I do with a story too long for a quicky/anthology/etc, but too short for category/single title? *snort*